He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
