who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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