You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
