would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
