dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
