I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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