He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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