you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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