Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
