soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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