After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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