Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
