is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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