you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
