Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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