no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
