sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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