just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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