8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
