thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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