Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
