so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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