i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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