I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
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I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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