She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
