For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
