I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
