We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize