and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
