yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
