ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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