god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize