It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
