i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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