Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
