I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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