My Higher Power is John Stamos
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
