I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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