the day after is always just damage control
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
