How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.