Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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