her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
