I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
