hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
