That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My Higher Power is John Stamos
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize