Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
