I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
