I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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