Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
