Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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