I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
