I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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