How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
