Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
