Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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