At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
