I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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