she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
