Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
