ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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