Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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