I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
