Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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