Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
