The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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