I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
