Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
