so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
