First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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